sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
