I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
