I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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