how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
