Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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