i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
