I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
