Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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