I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
