You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
