I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
