I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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