Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
