so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
