he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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