She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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