I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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