You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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