ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
