doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
