I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
