cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
