smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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