I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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