So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
