The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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