Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
