So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
