i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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