Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your penis caused this!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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