I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
