'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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