I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
