And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
