I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
