I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
