This is not my ceiling
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
