I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
