note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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