She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
