i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
