Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
