Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
