Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize