his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
