im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
