either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
