There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think my moral compass just broke
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
