Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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