ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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