sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
