Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
