if i can run in heels then i can drive
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
