if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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