is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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