That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
