oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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