I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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