I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
