I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
