the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
