ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
