I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
