and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
