it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
