If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
