I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
