His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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