Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
