Can Purell be used as lube?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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