My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize