Dual....:-)
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
