Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
