Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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