Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Houston, we have a blender
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
