Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
