I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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