Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
