I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
