omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
