She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
