Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
