Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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