I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
