Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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