I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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