Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
