I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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